It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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