yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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