I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
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Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
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you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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