highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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