On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
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