so explain again why im purple
no
4 words: hood of his car
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
