i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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