woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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