No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
