Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
