Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
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Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
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Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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