Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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