i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
