They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
