Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
