Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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