"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
you inspire me to be a worse person
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
