you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
COCAINE IS GR8
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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