I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
