Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
