He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
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I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
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Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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