Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
