dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
