Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
