What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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