So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
