dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
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She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
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First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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