Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
