Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
