You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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