on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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