its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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