i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
