She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
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