Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
