Pregnant stripper...not hot.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
