He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
