talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
