i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
