I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize