i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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