Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
