Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
