Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
