Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
