You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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