doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
