He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
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well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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