he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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