I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
