take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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