Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
