NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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