i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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