with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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