I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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