So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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