I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm passing your future prison.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
