I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
