It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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