Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Randomize
