Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
