You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
